kate rambeau

complain train

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Sat, 17 May 2008 05:10:27 GMT

it's fucking ten on friday and i am in the library working and i haven't had dinner. i am so fucking happy to be graduating, but HOLY FUCK is it expensive. i spent a hundred dollars on cap, gown, tassle, and announcements today. plus 120 for my dress. plus 30 dollars to declare candidacy. plus 200 to go home and get my color refreshed b/c i want my hair nice (that is my fault: i am dumb).
there's also all of the sleep i'm not getting in order to keep my grades up while i finish my thesis, which is the world's most giant timesuck and NO ONE will ever read it as long as i live.

the job search is scary but promising, i guess. i'm getting better and better at telling employers they want me.

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Mon, 12 May 2008 22:21:25 GMT

the more europeans i get to know, the more sure i am that europe is just a big steaming pile of bullshit.

xoxo

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:14:54 GMT

God damnit, Gossip Girl is the best shit on tv.

oh

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:27:43 GMT

i have tendinitis, lol.
yesterday i made friends with a lady from Seoul on the bus. I taught her how to say "Wilshire and La Cienega." It sounded pretty when she said it.

humanity is over

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 02:14:48 GMT

today i was reading magazines at the student bookstore, and i overheard/eavesdropped on a conversation that totally activated my HULK RAGE:

girl 1: (picking up tabloid magazine w/britney spears on the cover) "ohhh! she's lost weight"

girl 2: (looking at another tabloid magazine) "yeaaah. oh my god, she's getting so huge, it's gross, look" (points to picture in the magazine, show)

girl 1: "ew, god!"

girl 2: "it's like all of the weight that britney spears loses just melts off onto her sister"

HER SISTER. HER PREGNANT SISTER. PREGNANT DOES NOT = FAT. i can't believe two WOMEN would be so fucking out of touch with healthy body ideals to be grossed out by how "HUGE" a pregnant jamie lynn spears is. but THEN:

girl 1: "suri cruise is so cute!"

girl 2: "but cute babies become ugly adults. just wait, she will be ugly"

girl 1: "yeah, true"

you guys have no idea how lucky these catty idiots are that i didn't bludgeon them with the blunt end of my diet pepsi bottle.

anything can happen with a razor

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:38:11 GMT

london was fun. i spent a lot of my time in museums, which was great, and staying with ariel was also really nice. we only went "out" once which was the perfect amount, honestly. i am getting old but it's cool b/c i like it.

british food is not gross, as the rumors would have you believe: the full english breakfast is a TRIUMPH, pasties are a meaty-ass delight, the cheese is killer, and everyone just eats spicy ass curry all the time, anyway. also fish and chips: u know that u wanna~

the day after i got back to la i fell walking to the #14 bus stop to get to the beverly center to buy an outfit for our party that night (theme: office meeting). this was saturday. i went to he hospital finally on monday (my dumbass birthday) and found out i'd broken my elbow and sprained my wrist. i am kind of mad that i got so hurt on such a bullshit errand. i should have stayed home and watched vh1. due to the shitload of pain that i was in, but trying to deny/ignore, coupled with the mood altering effects of the vicodin i took to keep from screaming, i was a raging bitch all night and picked a fight with every male who DARED speak to me (unrelated: why am i single???) here is a picture where my face is all strained with pain and i am wearing a sling that my roommate made out of an american apparel scarf (yes, they are useful~)

i look totally stupid and not very pretty here, but i think that sling is so lol, as is the fact that i am posing for pictures a few hours after breaking my arm. blah blah, i have to do physical therapy instead of getting a cast, and i can't move my wrist or elbow so i can't put my hair in a ponytail or do 5 million other things that are stupid and embarrassing to ask for help with.

in WAY MORE IMPORTANT NEWS i only gained half a pound over this ordeal, which definitely included a tearful, solo trip to taco bell.
i figure if i go off my diet evry time i go to europe, break my arm, and turn 23 i will do alright.

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT i have minnetonkas coming in the mail. i can't tie my converse now, and i wore a hole in the sole anyway.

emooootionaaaaal landscapes

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:18:36 GMT

GOD ISN'T IT JUST SO COOL WHEN EVERY GOD DAMNED THING GOES WRONG???
i just had to e-mail two different professors with PLEASE SAVE MY LIFE type messages. this is not my normal way.

on the bright side today i bought some really ridiculous bell bottoms on sale at guess? for $35. i've been watching a lot of That 70's Show reruns lately and when i put them on i was just like "omg i look like donna. want."
i'm leaving for london in 3 hours.

i'm eating you

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 22:08:06 GMT

because i am dieting, i am thinking about nothing but food. because i'm thinking about food so much, i am going to blog about it for a minute? ok?

i really don't understand people who like, will not eat fruit and vegetables. why do they do that? it's like, punishing yourself. "no thanks, i would like to avoid these DELICIOUS plants and also feel shitty as a result, that is my preference." how you gonna tell me a giant pile of strawberries or some zucchini cooked up in some paul newman's olive oil and garlic is not THE SHIT? get a taste bud, for christ's sake.

on the other hand, i am equally baffled by people who refuse to admit that junk food is a wonderful gift from god. "Eww, McDonald's, gross!" YOU DING DONG, HAVE YOU EVER TRIED A CHICKEN NUGGET? THAT SHIT IS A MIRACLE. this is like people who are like "oh i don't watch tv it is dumb" why is you lyin'? or, actually, why are you trying to act like you are better than me? you are the superior person b/c you are not eating an ultimate cheeseburger? i beg to differ, asshole.

in other food news i have discovered that all of the best foods are the ones that stink to high heaven, i mean, i guess i always knew that, tbh, but i have been stinking up the house hardcore lately with garlic, onions, cabbage, hard boiled eggs, and fish. i am a joy to live with.

in other other news i'm going to london in a week. why not?

schlemiel, schlemazel

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 04:38:59 GMT

last night i had a dream about joaquin phoenix's harelip, and then today the movie "to die for" was on hbo. coincidence? yes, this is the reasonable conclusion.

in other news, my personal life is at its all time stupidest. cool.

i stand by my retarded decisions

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:21:55 GMT

like walking out of the house at 10:15 on a tuesday morning wearing navy blue eyeshadow, and crashing a programming class to use a lab computer to read jezebel~

some crap

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 19:14:43 GMT

i keep seeing guys in docksiders and i think they look so cute that it makes me want to wear them. i always want to emulate well dressed guys more than well dressed girls. chicks always make everything just a bit too precious for me, like "oh i will wear a sailor hat, SO CUET."

in other news i've been washing my face with a CLEANSING OIL and it is introducing me to a WHOLE NEW WORLD. such gentle cleansing~

anyway, these are the shoes i kind of want, but i dunno, i think they'd look good with shorts, but i would rather be eaten by wolves than wear shorts ever again (personal issues~)

yeah, they are from payless, what of it?

here is a thing that i want

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:19:57 GMT

i want to start wearing the most respectable beehive

A ICE WATERS TURNED TO DINNER

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 05:18:16 GMT

"i met this guy on match.com and we went to a restaurant for a ice waters, which then turned to dinner, the guy was really nice and hot, so he wanted to go to his place. we end up drinking way too much and gettin' it on. The apt. was also very gross in the lower level where his bed was. the really bad part, the guy apparently was not attracted to me, b'c he (and this was VERY awkward even during the episode) actaully HAD SEX W/ ME 4 5 MINS W/O TOUCHING ME!!!! The only thing that touch me was the condom.I've never emotionally recovered from this experience, and as for match.com (ick) i call it mattress.com. duh."

if you are not dying laughing at this i don't know if we can continue being friends.

you can't spell "pandemic" without letters

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:44:05 GMT

i got the stupid buttass flu and i haven't left my house since tuesday, but i have class tomorrow, and i have to go.

isn't that retarded?

also, i read v for vendetta and i liked the movie better~
also i have running class tomorrow but i dunno maybe it will kill me due to the *~influenza~*

this knowledge is my gift 2 u

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 23:47:59 GMT

ceviche is the best hangover food.

SNOOZE YEARS EVE

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 10:06:47 GMT

what are you sf jerks doing for nye? i managed to wrangle myself a date but i don't know where i want him to carry me home from. i looked at all of the crap on city search, but it all looks horrible. ughlskjfdf

i don't even know anything

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:43:37 GMT

why is it so fucking gross and upsetting when someone stares at your tits for an extended period of time? i mean, boobs basically exist to be stared at and...oh you perverts know what you do to each other, you don't need me to elaborate...so why this horrible visceral reaction? i feel like it shouldn't make me want to permanently disfigure people when they set their eyes on 'dis figure (see what i did there?) but it totally fucking does. it's such a bizarre adaptation. p.s. i'm pretty sure every gd thing is an evolved mechanism, that's just what i BELIEVE, ok~ how god damned inconvenient, really. for the species, i mean, not like "omg people want to stare at my hot hot body so much and it is so difficult for me" (but really guys, they do, and it is). (jk). (kinda).

i'm not doing one of those 2007 surveys b/c i am too reasonable, but i will say that this was a good, healthy year for me and i hope 2008 is more of the same. also, suck it.

wwend? (what would evie nelson do)

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:22:18 GMT

if your wire storage starts to collapse all over your hands while it is full of your clothes and you are trying to pack for a trip, don't fight it, just accept it, this is your life now, metal things falling on you and your clothes everywhere. it is not so bad, this life~

i managed to bring my stat grade back up to a B. not usually thrilled by B's but w/e, i got a 91 on the final, i'm done beating myself up.

I AM THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO HAVE THE FLU

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 02:57:37 GMT

yesterday for the first time i threw up in the undergraduate library! until now, all of my on-campus vomiting has been done in lecture halls.
the best part was that i hadn't eaten anything in seven hours due to having the flu, and it was 1am, so i had to use the bathroom in the silent reading room to do my vomming, so all of the "night powell" studiers were given a real treat when they were able to hear every last heave.

then, for the first time i took a cab home from school. i felt like i was probably going to pass out on someones lawn if i tried to walk.
it was a 6 dollar fare. i tipped the driver $10. i only remember this in flashes b/c i was so fucking tired and sick that my memory is clouded and broken up as if i had been doing a lot of drugs.

i hate being sick (omg what a unique sentiment) because:

a) it's lonely.
you are never more lonely than when you are sitting alone in your room wishing to god that you had a glass of water, or some tissues, or someone to cry to but all of your roommates are out, and even if they were home they are your roommates, not people who love you, so you wouldn't ask for tissues, or water, or tearful-snot-talks, anyway. so then you start mentally compiling a list of people who you think you might be able to ask for these things in a parallel universe where they are in your house, and of course, the only person you can come up with is your mom.
also it is lonely in a less DRAMATIC way b/c you can't get near anyone ever because you are WALKING DISEASE.

b) i always feel like i am being overly dramatic if i even mention it, but on the other hand, all i want to do is WHINE and it is pretty much the only thing still enjoyable when sick.

c) food is totally disgusting to me, but only being able to stomach ~600 calories a day since saturday has basically led to me having THE SHAKES plus these weird quivers in my abdomen which i'm pretty sure are a symptom of imminent death.

ilu transit

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:26:54 GMT

i took the train home from sf on saturday night, and boy howdy, was that more eventful than i'd anticipated. a few minutes after i boarded, when i was a few paragraphs into the cover story of the current bay guardian, (did you know that we should all be feeling guilty about babies for some reason?) when this middle aged woman taps me on the shoulder and says "IS IT OK IF I SIT HERE" i tell her "yes" and go back to reading the guardian, and listening to le tigre or whatever on my headphones, but, of course, as ladies on the train love to do, she starts yammering at me, and i quickly realize that she is drunker than shit, and that her daughter, and her daughter's husband, who are sitting in front of me, are also drunker than shit. awesome. i was so looking forward to spending some time alone on the train, and now i have to spend it with the swiss family drunkerson.
at first it is not so bad, because the mom was just being mildly annoying: telling me how happy she was that her daughter was married and happy, explaining to me that hollister is DIFFERENT than san francisco, and outlining her day for me, which was meant to be spent in union square shopping, but apparently metamorphosed into bar hopping and insulting bartenders (girlfriend was so proud of herself for remarking that her martini was small but that he "probably hear[s] that from all the girls")

but then she kind of started getting out of hand. and her daughter wass following closely behind. things started to go south when drunk mom started trying to flirt with the ticket-taker "i have my ticket, when's the show? is there a prize? are you the prize??" and then SCREAMING at the top of her lungs that she was "JUST TRYING TO MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD," oh girl, isn't that just what we are all trying to do?

i kind of thought i was off the hook when she started to pass out in the middle of sentences, but her slumbers were sadly short lived, so she never shut up for very long. her drunk daughter then began badgering her husband about having a baby "i want a baabyyy, yes we CAN afford it, fuck you" i so wished i could get up and move to a different seat at this point, but i was sitting by the window and was therefore TRAPPED. drunk mom and drunk-daughter's-drunk-husband started arguing about the hypothetical baby that drunk daughter wants to have, and how drunk everyone involved was, when the true horror began:

drunk mom scratched drunk-daughter's-drunk-husband's FACE and totally broke the skin. there was a little blood. drunk mom claimed that "HE DESERVED IT!" and drunk daughter became so distraught that her only course of action was to vomit into a macy's bag.

i got up and spent the rest of the ride standing by the train door with the conductor.
basically what i am getting at here is that i have seen my future and it is not attractive.

excuse me, wtf r u doin'?

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 01:51:53 GMT

i keep seeing this woman when i am out running errands or, taking care of business (tcb y'all~) in the student union who i am pretty sure is homeless, but she is always wearing a different wig. she has real hair under the wigs, and sometimes she takes them off to scratch her head (her real hair looks pretty good, and putting on a wig is kind of a process, if i'm not mistaken) so the wigs are always ALL FUCKED UP and sideways on her head. it's an original look, i will give that to her, and, tbqh sometimes the wig choices kind of delight me, like today she was wearing this big poufy ash blond deal (she is black, btw), sitting charmingly askew atop her head, and it just looked so ridiculous and out of place that i couldn't help but kind of love her for it

so i guess what confuses me about this woman is where she is getting the money for these fucking wigs, all twenty bazillion thousand of them. i know that you can get pretty cheap, low quality wigs, but even the cheapest halloween wig is like, ten bucks,and like i said, i'm pretty sure this woman is homeless. she is always kind of skulking around the student union around closing time, clutching a sleeping bag and a to-go bag from pinkberry (sidenote: i also see her eating at pinkberry sometimes, which is totally five whole dollhairs). I can't afford a single gd wig, and i have to totally restrain myself from buying pinkberry, and i am a totally NORMAL PERSON with a place to live and no bizarre mental illnesses that make me mistake wigs for hats and then wear them in the BLAZING SUN. has this woman figured out the secret to being able to afford all of the unnecessary luxuries she wants? if you don't pay rent or buy groceries, you have so much more money for wigs! she is also like PAINFULLY THIN but kind of delicately pretty (she reminds me of halle berry in losing isaiah but with some ridiculous fucking wig on all the goddamn time) and and I JUST DON'T GET HER. she totally fascinates and confuses me. i am tempted to just approach her and be like "TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE I NEED 2 KNOW" but then a) i don't think she would tell me and b) it is almost better not knowing and just inventing a narrative for her that suits my whims.
OH ALSO ALSO sometimes i see her carrying textbooks around and i am like "wtf, textbooks are so expensive, get them on reserve at the library: YOU DON'T HAVE A HOUSE!!!" i'm sure someone will tell me that maybe she isn't homeless but i know a homeless person when i see one, and also, remember that thing i said about narratives that suit my whims?

in other news i don't understand a goddamned thing about hannah montana.

in other other news oreo cakesters are kind of gross. i discovered this by eating three of them.

re: everything

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 05:50:51 GMT

lol nevermind.

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 08:01:28 GMT

it is stupid to be happy.

but it's cool to be stupid.

things i will never 100% believe are not real

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:46:27 GMT

vampires
spontaneous human combustion
zombies

love_evie_pls@hotmail.com — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 02:39:56 GMT

today i took a nap in the main reading room at powell library and when i woke up my face was covered in mascara and my right hand was between my legs.

in other news, i should probably stop flirting with lesbians. even when they have cute dogs.